So, today I went to my ob/gyn and found out a few things. I originally went in to find a new method of birth control (which we are still discussing) and we discovered that I am in need of a weight loss program as well as some counseling. I knew I was gaining some weight since going off the pill, but I didn't realize 20 lbs of weight! Goodness, no wonder I've grown out off all of my clothes this last month or so. I am planning a new diet and workout plan, as well as considering Weight Watchers program. I have never found any success by myself as far as losing much weight, but who knows with this.
As far as the counseling I am planning on looking into a church counselor. She said it was to help with anger and anxiety issues. I don't want anyone shoving mental pills in my face, I've seen what those do to people and I'm not willing to go nuts like my grandmother! Anyway, I've been babysitting with Jason the other part of my day. That has went well but I really am tired and I know tomorrow I will be babysitting ALL day as well. It also doesn't help that a certain person (not Jason or Baby) has been driving me INSANE! Eh, it could be worse, right?
I guess tonight we will be staying at my aunt and uncles as far as I know. My cousin should be having a her baby any time now. yay!
I'm going to sign out, goodnight all!
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Where we are.
Today, Jason took off of work. We helped a relative of mine move last night and when we were supposed to be getting home around 10 pm, we left at 10. We didn't make it back until about 2, maybe 2:30. It was nice having extra time to sleep in with him today, but I fear that his reasoning of calling in was "I don't want to go" could become more of a habit. Although I have a lot of faith he will remain responsible with his work, I too have been guilty of getting in the habit of "oh, it's just one day. what will that hurt?" Yeah, been there done that.
I worked on Saturday, but I've been driving back and forth to my aunts house a lot because my cousin is in the hospital with high blood pressure and stress. She will more than likely be having her son today or tomorrow. I have been baby sitting my aunts son with Jason, which has been fun but also a bit of a hand full. He has been feeling sick lately and anyone that's ever been around a sick baby knows that they get whiny. It really hasn't been that bad, I just don't want him to feel sick anymore!
I'm starting to get super excited for mine and Jason's vacation coming up! Next Thursday (the 19th) we will be going up to my families cabins for the weekend. He was able to take his last vacation day for the year for the Friday. On that note, we are still praying and hoping for a new job for him. There is one that we are really starting to think he is going to get but ya know, we thought that with the last one so we won't get our hopes up.
Nothing new on a home yet, unfortunately. We are waiting to find out about a new job for him before we pursue anymore places, since we don't know where we will be living. I'm really hoping it will be soon that we know, I am really hating living in a day by day "home" situation. I know I could go home anytime I wanted but I just don't want to be away from Jason, I really can't stand it.
I will try to post more this week, but we will see how it goes. I will probably be here childsitting most of the week (which is okay with me) =)
I worked on Saturday, but I've been driving back and forth to my aunts house a lot because my cousin is in the hospital with high blood pressure and stress. She will more than likely be having her son today or tomorrow. I have been baby sitting my aunts son with Jason, which has been fun but also a bit of a hand full. He has been feeling sick lately and anyone that's ever been around a sick baby knows that they get whiny. It really hasn't been that bad, I just don't want him to feel sick anymore!
I'm starting to get super excited for mine and Jason's vacation coming up! Next Thursday (the 19th) we will be going up to my families cabins for the weekend. He was able to take his last vacation day for the year for the Friday. On that note, we are still praying and hoping for a new job for him. There is one that we are really starting to think he is going to get but ya know, we thought that with the last one so we won't get our hopes up.
Nothing new on a home yet, unfortunately. We are waiting to find out about a new job for him before we pursue anymore places, since we don't know where we will be living. I'm really hoping it will be soon that we know, I am really hating living in a day by day "home" situation. I know I could go home anytime I wanted but I just don't want to be away from Jason, I really can't stand it.
I will try to post more this week, but we will see how it goes. I will probably be here childsitting most of the week (which is okay with me) =)
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Sleepless Nights
Yep, another sleepless night. I feel like my sleep schedule is about opposite of Jason's now. Gotta love having no life or job, right? I'm pretty sure if I were in my own home, well OUR own home I would be LOVING this. Ultimately I would really like to be a stay at home wife/mom, but that's a bit hard when you don't have a home. I was going to give a call to some apartments today, but they are too far for where he is looking for work. I know I need to be looking at the bright side to this but I'm having trouble seeing it. I mean, we have no stable living, I have no stable work, we have our own relationship problems and it's getting hard to look for the bright side to this! I'm just praying he gets this new job so that we can find a place of our own and I can find some work. This not working thing is driving me crazy. I don't like having to depend on everyone else to support me. I know I'm only 17, but COME ON! I have been taking care of myself for the most part for about a year and a half now...up until recently when I quit BOTH of my jobs to make my guy happy?
I just don't see how this situation is making anyone happy. I feel unwanted no matter where I go. I like to be at my parents house but at the same time I can't stand their smoking habit and they get mad whenever I say anything and I feel like a burden because of it. We have other issues elsewhere, but those are better left unsaid. Maybe a lot of things I'm saying are better left unsaid, ya know? No, I would be losing it if I had to keep everything bottled up. I'm out of people to talk to as well it seems like. My best friend is married, pregnant and has a place of her own with her husband and doesn't seem to care about my little problems. My other good friend just bought a house and really doesn't understand this situation. I'm sick of being broke. I'm sick of being trapped. I can't take it.
I'm really praying that within a few weeks Jason will know where he is going to be working, whether he continues where he is or if he is switching to a new place. I'm not much of a 'gray' type area person, black or white. Where will we be? Will I be able to find work? Why am I asking YOU these questions? Regardless, I suppose life isn't all bad. I mean, I did work my butt off with all the jobs I have had and now maybe this is God's way of blessing me with a break? That is a definite maybe, but then again I think God knows me well enough to know that I'm no good at sitting around being useless and he is planning something big! A girl can only hope, right?
Today, I have been going through some of the baby section on Pinterest. Part of be gets excited about the thought of having children. But the other part of me dies a little inside. I know how much I want children and with my medical condition that may never happen for me. I pray I will one day get to experience a pregnancy, even if it's just one. I want to be able to say I was blessed to give birth to a child. Blessed enough to bring another beautiful soul into the world. *Note: This is not something I am wanting for right now, this is a hope for my future with my Husband.
I suppose I had better cuddle up next to my loving man for a few hours of sleep, huh? Alright, Goodnight all :)
I just don't see how this situation is making anyone happy. I feel unwanted no matter where I go. I like to be at my parents house but at the same time I can't stand their smoking habit and they get mad whenever I say anything and I feel like a burden because of it. We have other issues elsewhere, but those are better left unsaid. Maybe a lot of things I'm saying are better left unsaid, ya know? No, I would be losing it if I had to keep everything bottled up. I'm out of people to talk to as well it seems like. My best friend is married, pregnant and has a place of her own with her husband and doesn't seem to care about my little problems. My other good friend just bought a house and really doesn't understand this situation. I'm sick of being broke. I'm sick of being trapped. I can't take it.
I'm really praying that within a few weeks Jason will know where he is going to be working, whether he continues where he is or if he is switching to a new place. I'm not much of a 'gray' type area person, black or white. Where will we be? Will I be able to find work? Why am I asking YOU these questions? Regardless, I suppose life isn't all bad. I mean, I did work my butt off with all the jobs I have had and now maybe this is God's way of blessing me with a break? That is a definite maybe, but then again I think God knows me well enough to know that I'm no good at sitting around being useless and he is planning something big! A girl can only hope, right?
Today, I have been going through some of the baby section on Pinterest. Part of be gets excited about the thought of having children. But the other part of me dies a little inside. I know how much I want children and with my medical condition that may never happen for me. I pray I will one day get to experience a pregnancy, even if it's just one. I want to be able to say I was blessed to give birth to a child. Blessed enough to bring another beautiful soul into the world. *Note: This is not something I am wanting for right now, this is a hope for my future with my Husband.
I suppose I had better cuddle up next to my loving man for a few hours of sleep, huh? Alright, Goodnight all :)
Monday, July 2, 2012
Like time through the hour glass, so are the days of our lives.
Well, I haven't done much yet today but I've been on pinterest! Mostly looking for something to cook us for dinner. I just haven't decided what yet. I sit here and all I can think is "Girl, you need a life." Trying to tell myself that it will be okay because Jason is providing and taking care of me right now. I just don't like to be that vulnerable to him. I don't want to have to rely on anyone anymore but apparently I can't help it.
My parents seem to be having lots of fun on their vacation. I'm glad for them but at the same time, pretty jealous. They've earned it, and I've done nothing (or so it seems) to deserve a vacation right now. Although Jason and I will be going up to my cabins in a few weeks to spend the weekend. He's taking his last vacation day so we're able to go up from Thursday to Sunday. I'm excited we are able to do this and spend this time together but I'm sad that he is now out of vacation days. It sucks, but it has been nice spending time this month with him.
My Goals for the day:
:)
My parents seem to be having lots of fun on their vacation. I'm glad for them but at the same time, pretty jealous. They've earned it, and I've done nothing (or so it seems) to deserve a vacation right now. Although Jason and I will be going up to my cabins in a few weeks to spend the weekend. He's taking his last vacation day so we're able to go up from Thursday to Sunday. I'm excited we are able to do this and spend this time together but I'm sad that he is now out of vacation days. It sucks, but it has been nice spending time this month with him.
My Goals for the day:
- Clean the kitchen
- Wash and Fold Laundry
- Take rental movies back
- Get a Phone Card and a few groceries
- Attempt to sketch out an idea of mine
- Make a dessert for tomorrow
- Decide on and Cook dinner
:)
Sunday, July 1, 2012
One Step at a Time.
So, I'm not entirely positive as to what this blog will be about but I feel if it makes me better then it will serve it's purpose. Anyway, I guess I will begin with what this post is about.
Today, has been a long Sunday. I woke up pretty late into the day which was nice. The down side is I've been running since I woke up it feels like. I had to go visit my brother in jail (that is never an awesome way to start the day). After that Jason and I went to Steak 'N Shake. We also had my brothers girlfriend with us, which was okay. We went to GFS and Meijer after that to shop for some food. After we finally made it home we had to work on fixing a crappy car that I bought and am trying to sell off. After that it was time to get some house work done.. That wasn't too bad though! See, we're staying at my parents house while they're out of town. Although it's a ways for him to drive to work in the mornings, it is really nice being able to do our own thing here. It's like what I hope married life will be like for us.. of at least what it will be like when we get our own place. Which brings me to my next topic.
Housing. It's been an issue for a while. There is a nice (well, sounds nice) apartment in a town nearby his work that would be really great for us to live in. The only problem is getting a vacant home there is more difficult then we first had thought. We have been having issues about where to stay ever since I graduated High School (that would we this year, 2012). Trying to find our place in the world is becoming harder by the day. Without a stable living environment I can't even look for a job which is absolutely killing me. I'm not at all the type of person to stay home and do nothing. I want to be working or spending time with people, not just sitting home. Another dilemma has hit us this week, too. This job we were sort of counting on turned out to be dud for us and now we continue to be stuck in the mud.
This probably is sounding like a big "oh, poor me" post but that isn't my intention. Life isn't going bad for me (us) really, it's just normal problems that every young couple I'm sure has to endure. I know this isn't really an "ending" but I'm tired and I'll write more tomorrow. Good Night :)
Today, has been a long Sunday. I woke up pretty late into the day which was nice. The down side is I've been running since I woke up it feels like. I had to go visit my brother in jail (that is never an awesome way to start the day). After that Jason and I went to Steak 'N Shake. We also had my brothers girlfriend with us, which was okay. We went to GFS and Meijer after that to shop for some food. After we finally made it home we had to work on fixing a crappy car that I bought and am trying to sell off. After that it was time to get some house work done.. That wasn't too bad though! See, we're staying at my parents house while they're out of town. Although it's a ways for him to drive to work in the mornings, it is really nice being able to do our own thing here. It's like what I hope married life will be like for us.. of at least what it will be like when we get our own place. Which brings me to my next topic.
Housing. It's been an issue for a while. There is a nice (well, sounds nice) apartment in a town nearby his work that would be really great for us to live in. The only problem is getting a vacant home there is more difficult then we first had thought. We have been having issues about where to stay ever since I graduated High School (that would we this year, 2012). Trying to find our place in the world is becoming harder by the day. Without a stable living environment I can't even look for a job which is absolutely killing me. I'm not at all the type of person to stay home and do nothing. I want to be working or spending time with people, not just sitting home. Another dilemma has hit us this week, too. This job we were sort of counting on turned out to be dud for us and now we continue to be stuck in the mud.
This probably is sounding like a big "oh, poor me" post but that isn't my intention. Life isn't going bad for me (us) really, it's just normal problems that every young couple I'm sure has to endure. I know this isn't really an "ending" but I'm tired and I'll write more tomorrow. Good Night :)
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